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Let’s assume that I’m trying to get a new job. I’m kind of fucked, mainly because you’re reading me.

Seriously. Anyone who looks up “Ferrett” online, even in passing, will discover that I have littered the Internet with a wealth of profanity-laden tirades on controversial subjects. I mock abortion, I mock racial issues, I think dick jokes are funny. There aren’t a whole lot of Fortune 500 corporations that are going to look at that and go, “Wow, I need to have that time bomb ticking away in my marketing department.”